Jacci handed me the bottle of advanced formula hand sanitizer that boasts aloe and an easy to use pump dispenser. She couldn’t unlock the easy to use pump. She expressed her frustration with some colorful words and walked out of the kitchen with the wave of the hand that says “honey you deal with this.”
We’ve been here before — you can’t get the pump handle in the up (ready to use) position from the down (locked) position. Anyone who has ever tried to unstick a stuck pump feature on a bottle of liquid whatever has been down this road before. And I doubt anyone will admit it, but I’m sure several of you reading this have thrown one of these recalcitrant bottles away in frustration.
How can a thing so low-tech as the pump action on a bottle of hand sanitizer (with aloe and an easy to use pump dispenser) be so hard to unlock? Personally, I like a bar of soap. I think most men do. The frustrations with engaging the pump feature of hand sanitizers, gels, lotions, foaming soaps and other gooey liquids got to me years ago and I took the easy way out—I avoid them.
But Jacci loves those evil little things. Pump-dispensed gels and foaming liquids live in both cars, in the kitchen, the bedroom and more than one in the bathroom. When she brings these devious contraptions home from the store I try and avoid them at all costs.
But today I’m trapped. I’m facing another bottle of hand sanitizer and I need to show my bride that men can do more than lawn care and vehicle maintenance as comedian Tim Allen used to say.
So, I prepared my work area. I cleared off the kitchen table. My tools were all laid out.
And then, in a moment of clarity, I did the opposite of what I believe most men would do. I looked for directions. And found them.
The directions were molded into the top of the pump handle in microscopically small letters that said “Open,” with a circular arrow pointing in a counterclockwise direction. I thought I was home free. But my excitement was premature.
After turning the pump handle round and round for several minutes I could see this was going nowhere. The stupid pump stem would not pop up.
I moved to Plan B: Look for better directions. I checked all around the bottle and finally went to the manufacture’s website (a semi-high-tech approach), but no joy. While on the website I noticed that the reviews for this product were all five-star reviews. Companies pay to have people write good reviews. I’m sure of it now.
Then finally to Plan C: The higher-tech approach. I decided to search on YouTube for a demonstration video, and there it was. Actually, there were hundreds of videos about hand sanitizers and other pump-dispensed liquid toiletries. At least I felt validated. Clearly others have felt my pain.
As it turns out, the secret to opening the bottle is to push the cap down with the thumb of one hand as you turn the pump counterclockwise with the other hand. The microscopically small letters on the bottle cap fail to mention the pushing-the-cap-down part of the process.
Life is better now. I no longer dread the arrival of new pump dispenser bottles in our home. In fact, I rather enjoy showing off the ease with which I can unlock those pump handles.
Now Jacci and I both go straight to YouTube when we encounter a vexing household problem. And almost without fail we find answers. Seriously, give YouTube a try the next time you need to know how to use that revolutionary new can opener you bought, or how to change the blade of a rotary fabric cutter, or how to assemble and operate a food processor. YouTube video tutorials are awesome!
